Monday, December 06, 2004

About everything

First, I wanted to thank you all for your comments on my WIPs. They really made my day!!! It feels so special to open my blog and find all the comments in there :) Thank you!

I survived my weekend at the uni. It was really tough this time, Saturday till 8 pm and Sunday till 4 pm, but with an exam in the middle. It was an exam in Artificial Intelligence, subject I really adore. It's so interesting and so challenging and I enjoyed reading about this topic. Yet, I don't know if I did well. The questions were broad, general and unclear. I don't know if my answers were the ones the prof was wishing for, so I don't know how he's going to like them. I like short, precise questions or problems to solve much better, at least I usually have a good feeling if I did well or now. We'll see before Christmas how I did. The problem with learning for this exam was that I got sidetracked a lot. I stayed within the subject but spent several hours at a time pursuing questions that were not relevant for the exam. I spent a couple of days trying to find the best AI solution to the Traveling Salesman Problem LOL. I did find enough information to satisfy my curiosity in the end, but of course it ate up my learning time. Still I am going to read on about AI, I find it simply fascinating!!!

I have a horrible headache today and DD is getting on my nerves. She's always a bit more difficult after I have not been home for 2 days, but today her crying simply hurt. Poor baby, not only mummy's away, but when she's back she's in bad mood. I hope tomorrow she will be better and will let me move without her glued to my legs. Thanks God, she's not crying while I'm away. She actually has great time with DH, playing a lot, walking, etc. It's the moment she sees me again, when she realizes that she's missed me.

I want to think about my final thesis more until Christmas. I still have plenty of time, over a year to finish it, but I would like at least to be sure about the subject. I have to send my proposal to my prof and wait for him to OK it. The subject is already chosen, Workflow Management, but I have to precise the topic and what do I want to concentrate most on. I have already started some research, it's my most favorite part of writing. I like reading, searching for papers, books, articles. What I don't enjoy is sitting down and writing. This thesis is going to be my trial. If I enjoy it enough, if I'm good enough and if it turns out, the way I wish, I might try postgraduate studies and PhD. It's not 100% sure, as it is a huge investment in terms of money and time, but I like toying with the idea. Whatever I decide, I want to think about such things in advance.

The next big decision will be about me coming back to work next January or deciding on a next baby. I would like more than one child, but at the moment I can't imagine getting pg again and caring for two small children at once. On the other hand I wouldn't want there to be a big age gap between the two and DH is not the youngest, so we shouldn't wait too long. Also I have problems with endometriosis and although I got pg very easily, it didn't get any better after the pregnancy. Quite the opposite it got much worse, so most probably I am facing a complete hysterectomy like my Mom in the future. Well, at least you can't get cancer of something, you don't have, right? So also because of that we shouldn't delay the decision... And DD is getting really bossy and spoilt, I'm slightly afraid of her being really jealous... I just feel not quite ready for a second child yet...


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Gosia,
you wrote a long log! I hope you pass your AI-exam. Reminds me of my time at uni, but that's while ago (almost 14 years). I have 4 children and I want to say: if you don't feel ready, you probably shouldn't have another. My second daughter was born 21 months after the first and it is overwhelming: for your body and your mind. But the grew up together. And now they just are one class apart (the second is a quick learner) and that sometimes is difficult. At the moment they can appreciate each other: both on high school etc.
But I really don't know for sure: if you are pregnant, you'll 9 months to prepare yourself.

2:20 PM  

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