Thursday, February 22, 2007

Ash Wednesday

I didn't make it to the church yesterday, although I actually wanted to. But I was tired and it would mean for DD going to bed after 8.30pm, which is much too late on a weekday. So we didn't make it.

But still, it was a day when I had more time to think about things than I usually do. I try not to overanalyze (yeah, I know there's no real chance to actually succeed at this goal, but at least I try to keep overanalyzing to my minimum necessary level), but sometimes such a day is well needed. I let all the problems make themselves heard, there are still so many of them. I wish it were over now, I have a very hard time coping with everything. Well, at least at the moment financial problems are getting so burning that I have less time to think about everything else ;) N+42th time in life, I am trying to get it right this time and again I feel I am slipping down the cliff... I need to get back to the one step at a time mode.

I've been thinking hard what I should do for the Lent and nothing better comes to my mind then giving up sweets and yelling at DD. Both are difficult enough for me to make good goals, so keep your fingers crossed for me, I'm gonna need it.

I am also slowly adjusting to being alone. Eating alone, sleeping alone. It doesn't feel as bad any more and there are times when I actually enjoy being able to do what I please instead of taking into consideration other people's needs. I can read as much as I wish without being scolded for wasting my time :) OK, things are not gonna stay this way, I have to write my stupid thesis sooner or later.

Things with my friend are complicated and sometimes I can't get rid of the feeling that it makes everything rather harder than easier. I guess I should have known it.

On the bright side, I managed to keep my weight and even lose a tad - 200g.

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Blogger Belinda said...

{{{hug}}} Those will both be hard to do - especially with as much stress as you're going through. I'll be pulling for you though!

2:01 PM  

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