Thursday, February 28, 2008


Nothing chynged much here... The other school made me an offer, but it's inacceotable, I'd have to retake almost all classes, which is not an improvement over starting anew where I am. So I guess the chool story is over for me for now.

I'm trying hard to cope with it and get back to normal life again, but I must amdit that I'm not very successful. I am sick on the top of everything and so spending hours surfing the net, doing nothing and feeling sorry for myself. I really need to take the bloody exam next week, but I'm so unmotivated to learn and also I forget everything so fast... I worked through half of the material before we went to visit future in-laws and now, just one week later I can't rememeber what I've lerant. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it.

But enough rambling. I'm still awaiting a day when I can write somehting more optimistic, sigh...

Friday, February 01, 2008

No clever title

I was not doing as good as I wanted to believe. Shortly after last post I felt into a huge black hole, when I couldn't even be bothered to get up in the morning, kept crying and not sleeping. I hate such phases, I want to believe I am stronger than I am.

Even though I learnt close to none, which is a big problem, because I need to take the first exam as soon as possible, I still kept doing small steps and next Thursday I have meeting at another school who is willing to work a new schedule with me, which could mean that I'm only going to lose 6 months and will only have earn a couple of credits more. Well, I'll know for sure when I've been there and there are of course some drawbacks - the school is not as well-known and it's going to cost a small fortune, but I'll take whatever they are going to offer me. My parents are also going to lend me the money, and etr DBF has a new contract, so at least financially things look a bit brighter for the time being.

I'm going to try to get my health a bit better and take vitamins regularly and see if it affects how I feel. I think that the insomnia, etc. was just stress, but if it continues, I'll need to see a doctor.

Oh, and DBF said that I'll be getting my Michael Powell for passing the first exam, so now on to learning :) :) :)